


out of reach

by potstickersss



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drunk Kissing, F/F, F/M, Gina is soft for Amy, Jake and Gina Brotp, Rosa is great with advice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2019-11-03 21:52:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17885876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potstickersss/pseuds/potstickersss
Summary: Gina struggles with her unrequited feelings for Amy as she watches Jake get the girl. Only her feelings may not be as one-sided as she once thought.





	1. caught

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos to let me know your thoughts! Feedback is always appreciated. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

I’m so screwed. So so so screwed.

A month ago I wouldn’t have even looked up from my phone when Amy sat down or laughed. Now I can’t take my eyes off her. I’m pining for my best friend's girl. I am a total bitch.

But I can’t help it. Not after that night with Amy and we missed Holt’s dinner party. Amy had been carefree and hilarious and so adorable. We had a great time and when she kissed me I had been shocked and Amy had apologized immediately but it had felt so good I leaned in again and kissed her like I couldn’t get enough. Which I couldn’t. That girl can kiss. Unfairly so.

What’s worse is we didn’t even have sex.

No instead we cuddled on my couch and watch horrible baking shows making fun of the contestants coming up with hilarious back stories for them while eating popcorn between make out sessions.

I never thought I would enjoy being with someone in that way without the expectation of sex but with Amy it was so natural.

And now she doesn’t remember any of it and I am slowly going mad. Its unfair that I am left with the memories of that incredible night while she is oblivious and going on with life as my mind tortures me with replays of how her soft lips felt on my skin.

Now she is with Jake. And I want to rip out my perfect hair. They are just so cute and lovey it makes me sick. But I can’t hate them. Jake is my best friend and has been pining for Amy since like day one. And he deserves to be happy, especially when he has finally gotten what he has always wanted. Same for Amy. If she has feelings for Jake I have no place to question it so I shove down my unrequited feelings and try so hard to keep up my emotionless bitch facade.

Which works. For a while until Rosa catches me staring. And now I want to rip her adequate hair out.

“You totally have a thing for Santiago,” Rosa says with a smug grin and I roll my eyes not taking my focus off my phone as she stands over my desk.

“I think you are confusing me and my buddy Jacob over there,” I drawl and I can feel the eye roll she sends me as I swipe mindlessly through my phone.

“Drop the act Linetti. You’ve been off your game for like a month now. Your scathing remarks towards Amy are hardly worse than school yard insults. And you stare. Alot,” She says and I look up then slapping my phone on the desk.

“I daydream a lot is that a crime Diaz?” I snap and she raises a perfectly sculpted brow in response. Sighing I sink back into my chair with a scowl, looking around to see if anyone will overhear. “Alright. Fine. You caught me detective I have come down with the Santiago Disease,” I admit and she snickers.

“The Santiago Disease? You mean the massive crush you are harboring?”

“Yes Diaz that. Though it doesn’t sound as pathetic if you use the name I chose. But it doesn’t matter because Jake finally got the girl and I get to watch their sickening affection. Now leave I have some Kwazy Cupcakes that isn’t going to play itself,” I say with a glare and pick my phone up again only for Rosa to grab my arm and haul me out of my seat and through the precinct into the evidence locker.

“Spill,” Diaz orders and I roll my eyes.

“I already did.”

“No I mean about that night when you missed Holt’s dinner. This started the day after so spill it Linetti. What happened between you two?” She asks seriously and I sigh dramatically as I move to sit on a file box.

“Little Santiago cracked my armour, that’s what happened Diaz. We had an awesome night even leading up to getting to Holt’s. She was freaking out about it in that adorable way of hers while trying to be chill. Which I was coaching her on and then we ended up missing the dinner so she flipped out and decided to be chill for real. Next thing I know she is pulling out the wine bottle she brought and chugging it on Holt’s porch. We found our way back into the city and had a fun time drinking and stealing sunglasses or at least I tried to but she ended up paying for them. And then she whammied me. We had been sitting on a curb for some reason laughing and she laid one on me. And I am telling you Rosa, even drunk Amy doesn’t do anything less than perfect. That girl can kiss.”

“So you two had sex,” Rosa says bluntly and I stare up at her silently. She frowns when I don’t answer and after a minute her eyes widen. “Whoa really?” She asks and I throw my hands up.

“I know! That’s why I am so screwed up. I liked it! I didn’t even mind watching horrible cooking shows while cuddled up with her on my couch. I mean we made out a lot and then she wanted to bake so we made a cake which was so good by the way, but we didn’t do anything else Rosa! It was so domestic and gross and I loved it. It felt right. What am I going to do?” I whine and Rosa blinks seeming just as lost as I am.

“Well now I understand why you’ve been so weird. But have you talked to her about it?”

“No because she doesn’t remember,” I mutter miserably and she makes a sympathetic noise in the back of her throat before sitting on the box next to me.

“Dude that’s shitty. And now her and Jake are a thing.”

I groan and kick my leg out to knock over the box in front of me in frustration.

“And she looks so happy. I may be a bitch but I wouldn’t put myself between them. Besides Jake is better for her anyways. He knows her inside out and would treat her a hell of a lot better than me. He does that feelings crap and I shove anything remotely close so far down that its like it never existed.”

Rosa sighs and reaches over to pat my back.

“I don’t know what to tell you dude. Maybe try and find someone to take your mind off her?” Rosa suggests and I roll my eyes.

“Already tried. Multiple times. I can never get past kissing them without thinking of her and then I make an excuse and leave. God I am pathetic,” I say and Rosa snorts.

“Just a little. But its nice to see you have the capacity to feel this shit. But just because Jake wears his heart on his sleeve doesn’t mean he is any better than you. Amy makes you feel things. And that’s rare. You deserve to have that with someone. Yes its shitty because that person is now dating your best friend but you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. You’re allowed to have those feelings. Its not like she cheated on him with you. She kissed you before ever getting with him. And hey maybe he is her version of a distraction. She could have lied about remembering for fear of you rejecting her. She knows you don’t date or do that lovey crap. Maybe she was protecting herself from getting too close,” Rosa says and honestly that has me feeling better.

There is a chance that what she says is true and Amy is lying. I wouldn’t blame her, I do gloat about not getting attached. She is well aware I’m a ‘hit it and quit it’ type of girl.

“Maybe you’re right. But what can I say? I don’t want to be wrong and end up ruining her relationship with Jake. If I bring it up and what you said is true I don’t want it to hurt Jake. I shouldn’t say anything. Its better that she continues to think that I don’t care,” I say and Rosa hums.

“Its up to you. But just know I’ve got your back,” Rosa says gruffly and I nod send her a small smile.

“Thanks Diaz.”

“Yeah yeah. Never speak of this to anyone. Now I gotta go and finish my case,” Rosa says, standing and I roll my eyes as she leaves before pulling my knees up and wrapping my arms around them. Suddenly there is a clang and someone curses before a box falls to the floor from the first row of shelves across the room. I jump to my feet and my stomach drops. Someone heard everything. Oh god.

“Get out here you creeper,” I order my heart pounding and slowly the person steps out of the shadows a sheepish grimace on their face and my tough facade drops, my expression falling when I see who it is.

“Jake.”


	2. confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake and Gina talk. Gina gets a late night visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thank you all for the support. I appreciate all the comments and kudos.
> 
> Here is part two. Its a little shorter than the first but I needed a filler chapter and this is what happened.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Please leave a kudos or comment if you'd like. I'm also open to suggestions so if you would like to see something specific just let me know and I'll try to incorporate it in the story.

“Gina! Hey girl hey!” Jake greets me in all his awkward glory and I close my eyes in defeat.

“Jake.”

“I didn’t see you there. Was just grabbing some old evidence for the case I’m working on and all that. So how you’ve been? You good? Of course you’re good. I’m also good. We’re all good up in here!”

“Jake for the love of god stop talking,” I sigh and his jaw clicks shut. His shoulders sag and I cross my arms waiting for him to say something, anything about what he heard.

“Soooo,” He drags out and I swallow roughly.

“So… you heard everything,” I say bluntly and he winces.

“Um yes. I did hear… that. Because you know I was already in here getting evidence and… stuff,” He says with an awkward laugh and I groan.

“Jake I promise you nothing is going to happen alright? Amy is with you and I’d never do anything to jeopardize that. What I feel doesn’t matter. So we are good right? This never has to come up and Amy never needs to find out,” I say and he sighs stepping closer.

“Gina of course what you feel matters. I can’t fault you for liking Amy. She has that effect on people. One day you are fine and she is your friend then the next you are actually listening to her go on about binder tabs and find yourself questioning if you should take her advice and get the good ones because they don’t rip or smudge when you use marker or pen to write on them.”

“Ugh this sucks. I have a crush on a massive dork,” I grumble and Jake laughs quietly.

“Rosa’s right you know. About it being okay to have these feelings. And I’m sorry that you feel like you can’t be open about them. I’m not angry or anything. I’m surprised and a little upset that I didn’t notice. I’ve been so focused on my own feelings for her that I didn’t think to look around. I feel like I took away something that had the potential to be great for you. I just- I’m sorry,” He says and I send him a smile.

“Its all good Jakey. I’ll get over it. Its just a crush. Its not like I’m in love with her or something,” I joke and he sends me a sad look. He knows I’m lying.

“Gina,” He sighs and I shake my head.

“Its no big deal. I swear. You two are great together, anyone could see that. I’ll be fine in no time. So yeah I gotta go,”I say and quickly make a beeline for the door.

“Gina wait.”

I shake my head ignoring him as I yank the door open. Being in the room with him is suffocating and him being so understanding, so Jake has me wanting to cry. It’s not fair but it is what it is. Not everything can work out. Jake getting Amy instead of me is just one of those things that the universe loves to torture me with.

\---------

Things are awkward.

Jake keeps sending me pity glances with his puppy eyes, constantly watching me like I’m about to snap or some shit. Man he can be annoying. And to make it worse Amy notices.

Which has her pestering me, asking me what’s wrong. She can be annoying too. But it doesn’t bug me as much because I like her attention. I like that she cares enough to ask.

Rosa is my saving grace over the next week, keeping Amy and Jake busy so I can get some distance but that doesn’t last.

Because Amy is at my door drunk. Her mascara is smudged and her hair messy like she had been running her hands through it constantly and my stomach swoops pleasantly. She is beautiful.

“I remember,” She says as I open the door and my breath catches. “I remember and I hate that I do. Because now I’m with Jake and I love him. But I also can’t get you out of my head. Its not fair. I was fine. I was content with not knowing but now I remember and its all I can think about.”

I swallow roughly and Amy sighs rubbing her eyes when tears begin to form.

“Amy you’re drunk. Just come in and sleep,” I say trying to change the topic but she shakes her head stubbornly.

“No. I can’t come in because if I do I’ll kiss you like that night but this time I won’t stop and I can’t do that to Jake. I don’t even know why I’m here Gina. I shouldn’t be here at all. I’m sorry. This is unfair to you too. God I’m such a bitch,” Amy says, her face pulling up in a pained grimace and I shake my head.

“You’re not a bitch. But I’m not letting you leave while you are drunk. So you are going to come inside and I will get you pajamas and water and then you will sleep in my bed while I take the couch. Then if you remember in the morning we will talk if you want. But if you say you don’t remember anything then I won’t bring up any of this okay?” I ask and Amy hesitates for a minute before nodding slowly.

“Okay.”

I nod and lead Amy inside giving her a sweatshirt and sleep shorts to wear before searching for some ibuprofen and filling a glass of water to leave on the nightstand. When Amy steps out of the washroom her make up is gone and she is swimming in my sweater which has my heart skipping. She’s adorable and her muscular legs are unfairly attractive. I should have given her pants.

I advert my gaze and motion to the water and medicine. “There’s the water and pills. I’ll be on the couch if you need anything.”

“Thank you,” Amy whispers and I send her small smile.

“Sure. Night Santiago,” I say before turning and exiting the bedroom, shutting the door behind me. I inhale sharply before heading to the couch to try and sleep.

This is going to be a long night.


	3. heartache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gina and Jake talk. The two help ease Amy's fears.

She’s gone by the time I wake up in the morning.

I’m kind of relieved that she didn’t stick around, not sure how well that conversation would have gone. But at the same time there is a part of me that wanted to get it all out in the open so I wasn’t drowning in heartache.

But it's all the same. She would have chosen Jake anyway. Who is currently banging on my door in rapid succession not stopping until I rip the door open with a glare.

“What?” I hiss, too tired to deal with his annoying habits and he sends me a grimace.

“Sorry. Its just I really need to talk to you.”

I sigh and step back allowing him into my apartment before going back to my original place, curling up on the couch with my comforter as he flops into the armchair, a nervous energy emitting from him.

“Spit it out Jake. I don’t have all day,” I say and he rolls his eyes.

“From the looks of it it does seem you have all day but whatever. To why I’m here. It's about Amy,” He says and I ground my teeth together.

“What about her?”

“I can’t find her. I went to her apartment this morning and she wasn’t there. Her door was unlocked which is not like her at all and her phone is still there along with her purse and keys. I was just wondering if you’ve seen her? Or could help me look for her?” He asks and I slowly sit up straight worried. Amy isn’t one to be impulsive and up and vanish.

“She came by last night drunk. I had her sleep it off here but she was gone by the time I woke up. I didn’t hear her leave from my place on the couch so I’m not sure what time that was,” I say and Jake frowns.

“She was drunk? Was she okay? What happened?” He asks in a rush and I swallow roughly.

“She was fine. My place was just the closest I guess,” I shrug, but his eyes narrow.

“You’re lying, why?”

“I’m not lying,” I scoff and he groans.

“Gina if you are trying to protect my feelings or something don’t. I’m a big boy I can handle it. She came here because of what went down between you two didn’t she?”

“Fine. Yes that was the reason but I told her if she wanted to talk about it we could in the morning but if not then I wouldn’t bring it up. She was confused and upset over her feelings for you and me I guess.”

“What did she say exactly?” He asks seriously and I close my eyes.

“Jake,” I plead and shake my head as I reopen my eyes but he isn’t backing down.

“Gina just tell me. I shouldn’t be left in the dark about this. I’m involved too.” I grimace and cross my arms as I debate whether or not to say anything.

“Look Jake. Amy loves you. She told me so last night but she also remembers what happened with me. She’s conflicted because everything was going well with you and she was content with not remembering what happened between us but now she has those memories and is confused. Nothing happened, and nothing will happen because she loves you Jake. She adores you as she should. She didn’t even want to come inside because she thought she would be betraying you. She isn’t trying to hurt you or me she is just struggling with how she feels. She thinks she is a bitch for having those feelings.”

“She could never be a bitch,” Jake says quietly and I nod.

“I told her as much. But she feels guilty so maybe that’s why she has ran.”

“Okay so she is feeling guilty and probably afraid of what she is feeling. Where does Amy go when she needs an escape?” Jake asks more to himself but I answer at the same time as him.

“The library.” 

“Rooftop of your first stake out.”

He blinks confused as how I would know that and I shrug.

“She talked about it non stop to Rosa and I at the bar after the bet.”

“Oh. Well good thinking. We should go now. Amy shouldn’t be alone for too long with her thoughts or she’ll go into a downward spiral of self depreciation and that Amy is not fun to deal with,” He says getting to his feet but I shake my head.

“You go. She needs you more than me.”

“Gina,” He sighs and I wave him off.

“Go Jake. She’s your girlfriend you don’t need me there, you are perfectly capable of talking her down without my help. I did my part last night,” I say and he hesitates but I stand and shove him towards the door. “Go. Text me when you find her.”

“Okay. Thank you Gina. For helping her last night and me this morning. I really appreciate it,” he says and I nod.

“Tell anyone about this and I will release those photos of you in sixth grade after you blew chunks all over the principal during the Christmas concert,” I threaten and he gasps clutching his chest dramatically.

“You are wicked. But your secret is safe with me Linetti.” I roll my eyes and shove him out the door, slamming it shut behind him before he can get in another word.  
With a grimace I rest my back against the door and slowly slide to the floor the ache in my chest growing.

\-------- 

Jake finds Amy just where I told him she would be. But it turns out he isn’t the one who can calm her down. I had just stepped out of the shower when my phone went off in my bedroom signalling I had a text. 

It was an SOS from Jake asking me to get to the rooftop because Amy was inconsolable. And of course I go. When I reached the roof I find Jake sitting with his back against the concrete ledge at a loss to what to do as Amy cries from her place a few feet away, knees pulled into her chest and one hand tangled in her hair while her free arm wraps around her legs in attempt to comfort herself as her head falls back against the ledge.

The expression on her face is full of so much heartbreak and fear it has my stomach knotting. She’s torturing herself over this and that is all it takes for me to be the bigger person. I need to take myself out of the equation permanently.

“Santiago,” I say as I slowly walk over glancing towards Jake for some kind of clue as to what to say but he shakes his head in defeat. The distance between them speaks volumes, Amy seeming to not want his comfort which I can tell hurts him.

“Gina, what are you doing here?” Amy asks, her head perking up in surprise and she quick wipes her eyes but I shake my head as I crouch in front of her, gently pulling her hands away from her face. She doesn’t need to hide that side of her.

“Jake texted, said you needed some help. So what’s going on?” I ask and she swallows roughly, looking up at me with those big doe eyes and it’s painful to see her struggling this much. 

“I’m a horrible person Gina. I kissed you when we were drunk and then didn’t remember but you did. And I couldn’t figure out the change in your behaviour before but now I do. I was hurting you unintentionally but I also struggled to believe you would have feelings for me, let alone be hurt that I didn’t remember that night. And now that I do remember I feel like I am stringing you both along and hurting you in the process because I’m indecisive. I care for you both, I don’t want to be the cause of your pain or ruin your friendship. What am I supposed to do?” Amy whimpers and I clench my jaw, glancing towards Jake who looks heartbroken, not for himself but for Amy.

“Listen Amy, you are not a horrible person okay? Things like this happen to tons of people. There are millions of books written about this crap and you know it. This doesn’t have to be a huge dramatic event. We are all smart and independent adults who can deal with this in a mature manner. But you can’t keep thinking about Jake’s feelings or mine. You need to focus on you and ask yourself, what do you want? What do you see when you think of the future? That’s it. I know that I will be okay with any choice you make because I care about you and you not choosing me won’t be the end of the world. Sure it would suck but eventually I will find someone. So stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Relax Santiago, this doesn’t have to be decided in a day,” I say and Amy sniffles slowly nodding as I share a pointed look with Jake. He’s on the same page. Amy above anything else.

“Gina’s right Ames. We both want you to be happy and we both will be okay with whatever decision you make. This is life. People’s feelings change and you evolve and adapt. We will always be best friends no matter what. And I’m not going to be that asshole who thinks you belong to me and only me. If you feel like your feelings for Gina are worth giving it a shot then I want you to go for it. Because I love you both and you deserve to be happy, especially if that happiness involves each other okay? I will be okay. And so will Gina. We aren’t made of glass and we don’t want to make this difficult for you,” Jake says, sliding closer to Amy and her chin trembles as she takes in his words. She leans her head on his shoulder and grips my hand tight.

“Thank you.”


End file.
